Then, May 9 came. Everything got turned upside down. Everything. My husband of 22.99 years was in a car accident on the way to work. Mother's Day was days away. The annual Daddy Daughter backpacking trip was two weeks away and they had reservations at Catalina Island. We had our 23rd anniversary planned to go to Dana Point for Memorial Day weekend. We had plans. We had wonderful adventures behind and ahead of us. But now, I was doing the unthinkable. I had to tell my children ages 16, 17, and 19 that their healthy, amazing dad would not be physically home with us. My sweet missionary son in the Philippines had to be told and arrangements made for him to come home.
Tyler arrived home on Sat. Many worked to get him home quickly. The Philippines is 15 hours ahead so Shawn passed on Thurs. and Tyler found out on Fri. morning his time. Getting home on Sat. our time was fast. He flew from Mandaue, Cebu to Manila to Tokyo to San Diego. He's 19 and he had to travel a long way to get home. I got dressed to get Tyler. I wanted him to know his mom would be okay. I put on real pants and did my makeup.
Even as I was told about Shawn, there were miracles. Yes, many. I am not up for going into those right now but I quickly knew that Shawn wasn't far and God has those on the other side be close to their loved ones sometimes. I had no idea it was possible but I was so grateful for these miracles.
I have written an obituary for my husband. Link Here- It is actually an entertaining one. (I learned they don't fact check these, so I took the liberty of adding a super hero secret identity. Also, I really didn't want the knife in the picture but even with multiple cropping attempts, it is somehow there.) I have done the unthinkable but I have survived.
We had a Reunion of Friends and Family service at church. I insisted it last only one hour. Family and church friends helped pull off getting everything ready in merely one week. I needed the service over with. My church family was incredible and so many helped. It was a perfect tribute to my Shawn. Those attending were encouraged to wear Hawaiian or plaid shirts. It was raining. It rained most of May. I said it was because of my mood. It rained at the cemetery. It was like movie with the black umbrellas everywhere in a down pour.
I have been well cared for as I have navigated these last seven months. Men from church lined our driveway with 5 gallon buckets of roses and then friends came and planted the rose garden.
Our sweet missionary, made the difficult decision to return to the Philippines to finish his two year mission that he was almost half way through. Saying good bye was...hard. My 19 year old, would fly from San Diego to Los Angeles to Tokyo to Manila and then to Mandue, Cebu...by himself. I was so proud of him. His strength was a blessing to our family but my heart ached.
Did things go smoothly? No. Within weeks, I had a weird leak in my room and we had a brand new roof. Less than three months after Shawn's passing, my car died and our home flooded. I didn't have a car to move my things out of the house. Insurance and contractors were difficult. I had trouble with getting medical insurance. Our son broke his toe and our daughter had strep throat and the medical insurance I had purchased covered nothing. Zero. The well pump died and so on and so forth. Our home was gutted except for the office and kids' rooms. We moved in with my parents and resorted to resort living on the weekends.
It has been 7 months since Shawn was with us physically. We have been out of our home longer than in our home during those 7 months. It took four months to fix our home and we are glad to be back. A team of family members has helped me with paper work, insurance, home design, and more. I haven't been alone and I am grateful for my team.
I am back at work teaching. Have I worked on my TPT store this year? A bit. Not close to what I was planning. Even with these challenges, I met my goals. I took the kids to Disneyland to celebrate like I promised last Jan. Even with not working on my store much, it grew 64% over 2018. (We celebrated with TWO days at Disneyland! Sometimes you just need to celebrate.)
It's time to make goals for 2020. I have a lot to learn and do and it is daunting. But, I have come so far. I am sad but I am hopeful. This is why I haven't blogged much this year.
Here are pictures of the restoration/remodel of part of the house.
