Boy, today was a great day and a tough day. Today was our "First Day of School!" I actually had students in my classroom and it was wonderful. It is October but it was our first day with students in the classroom since March. The students are the wonderful part of being a teacher. This group of kids is incredible and I appreciate their kindness and perseverance. We made spiders and decorated the classroom for Halloween. We took mask breaks and social distanced. It was nice to be together.
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| Picture from Allstate |
Today was also really hard. My tire pressure light has been coming on. This was something Shawn would've handled. Or, I would've figured it out using the air compressor in the garage. But, Shawn died at age 46, a year and a half ago, and our garage burnt down a month and a half ago. On to Plan C. I drove to Discount Tire in Escondido. They were so kind and put air in each of my tires. I had on my sunglasses and a mask so no one saw how hard this was as a cried in the driver's seat. Each new thing I have taken on is hard. It gets easier and I have had many many firsts in the last year and a half. I was really, really spoiled by my sweet Shawn. I rarely put gas in my car myself and never had to handle any maintenance or car cleaning. Heck, my bathrobe was hung up for me and candles lit when I showered. I was the princess.
Then, when arriving home, the linen service had returned our cleaned belongings from the fire. That means Shawn's clothes were back again. His clothes but not him. Ow again. I don't want them gone but I don't want them staring at me. I just hurt.
I am so fortunate that my parents handled much of the move including putting Shawn's clothes away. They have been so amazing and there with us every step of the way. I am so lucky to have their support.
I was taking the trash cans down to the road for trash day tomorrow. My sweet neighbor welcomed me home because we moved back into part of the house on Friday. He offered to take the trash cans the rest of the way. I said I could do it. He said he was getting his and he could help me. I let him know they are heavy and I have to get more. He said he could handle the heaviness and just bring the others out and he'd take them. I really appreciate this simple kindness. It says, "I see you and I'll help with your burdens." For some reason, this "seeing" is rare. My pain is invisible and deep but I function well and look fine. I am fine. I'm just hurt too.